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Attorney at Law – The Retreat review S1 E7 – Lyles Movie Files

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While most episodes of She-Hulk revolve around clueless, moronic dudes, The Retreat is far more subtle. It’s about a terrible dude that presents himself as a nice guy sending Jen in a tailspin.

Again, all these issues would be resolved if the show focused on Jen as

  • A) an aspiring superhero
  • B) a gamma-powered lawyer who has no interest in being a hero
  • C) a woman who realizes that yes, she can juggle both a successful career with being a superhero

The first few minutes of this MCU comedy series is a sweeping montage that would fit in perfectly with 90s rom coms. Jen and Josh are dating, or courting as the old folks would say, and things seem to be going great.

Jen was nominated Female Lawyer of the Year. Trying to make sure I’m staying PC here. Shouldn’t that be Woman Lawyer of the Year? It’s hilarious that the show called She-Hulk: Attorney at Law spends so little time on She-Hulk operating as an attorney. If nothing else that could provide some cool drama involving characters in the MCU…like Wong.

Fearing she’s been ghosted, Jen does what any normal self-adjusted person would in this case — she starts checking her phone frantically waiting for Josh’s response. This opens up the fair question if Jen had She-Hulked him in the bedroom would Josh have already been blowing up her phone/planning a proposal?

Jen tries to settle down by watching The Great Muppet Caper for some of that sweet, sweet Disney synergy. Don’t forget kids, you can watch all things The Muppet Caper on Disney+

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Blonsky’s parole officer calls asking for Jen’s help. Jen eschews all no texting or text checking laws by constantly seeing if Josh texted back while driving. Not sure if this is supposed to make Jen more sympathetic or desperate? It’s not like she hadn’t hooked up with that model looking doctor a few episodes ago.

Instead of a raging out Abomination, which had the potential to be you know, interesting; turns out Blonksy’s inhibitor device got on the fritz when he was trying to save one of his chickens. Couldn’t he have asked any of his seven wives to do that and why are none of them here? Also, what is the writers’ fascination with polygamy?

Blonsky is holding therapy sessions. Man-Bull and El Agula are working through their issues, Porcupine is here and Sarasin the vampire is big on vamping. And now Wrecker drops by to join the session sounding like a goofball. I miss Pug. He was the only dude on this show that wasn’t a simpering, buffoonish moron. I’m just going to have to act like the Abomination that I care about stopped appearing in the MCU after his cameo in Shang-Chi cause this version of Blonsky ain’t it.

Now She-Hulk is in the trust circle talking about Josh. Sigh. Wait, there’s actually an earnest, genuine moment where She-Hulk/Jen compares her She-Hulk look to the cooler, popular friend in high school that she can become at any time and thinks it’s cheating when she hulks out.

Why can’t the series just have more heartfelt scenes like this? The humor isn’t working, but this is the kind of relatable, likable vulnerable Jen the show has needed to explore far more often.

Naturally, it’s undercut by the rest of the Circle wanting to beat down Josh and Porcupine unmasks to release a funky smell as he apparently doesn’t believe in showers. Whew. For a second I was worried we were going to go two minutes without some “comedy.” Jen is OK and to take back control, she deletes Josh’s number.

Now the big reveal. Josh was (brace yourself) a bad guy! He’s part of the group trying to get her blood. He snapped a pic of her knocked out from their romp. But oddly we’re never shown him getting a sample of Jen’s blood. So what was the point of the special big needle last week? And is Josh a 10-year-old girl texting through emojis?

I’m not worrying about Daredevil’s arrival. That’s not going to salvage this season. It’s wild that we’re this deep into the season and just now finally starting to have some semblance of a focus even if it seems far too late.

Rating: 4 out of 10

Photo Credit: Disney

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